i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
