yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
