Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
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The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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