whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
