My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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