It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
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90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
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so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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