his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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