i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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