my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
