i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize