maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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