When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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