First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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