you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
