I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
