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is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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