Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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