pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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