i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
