I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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