I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
someone threw a dead crab at me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
