Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

someone threw a dead crab at me

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(256): View more from Alabama

The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(908): View more from New Jersey

Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.

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(940): View more from Texas

He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers

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