This house was built for laser tag.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
