I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Still dying that you shit outside
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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