I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
