I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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