The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
