I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
