I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
