Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
