HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You're like the curious george of whores
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
