it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize