so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
