I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
