wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
