so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm too high and old for this...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
