it wasn't lemon gatorade
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
