she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
