oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
