I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
