I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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