I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
