she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
