my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
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the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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