had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
