she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
