Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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