So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
