rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just found puke in my bra..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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