You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
