Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
handjob tips. give me some.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Randomize
