why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
