is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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