we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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