We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
