This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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