He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
