I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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