Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
