Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize