the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
