I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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